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ANIMEfringe Presents:
How to Catch Pokémon
By Adam "OMEGA" Arnold and Steve Diabo (Kaneda) and filmed with the miracle of ADAMVISION!!!!


1Greetings. Here we are in the lush, scenic wilderness of my back field, to address you on the very important matter of capturing wild Pokémon. There's lots of wild, vicious Pokémon lurking in the tall grass, just itching to attack any unsuspecting traveler... Why the goggles and mask, you ask? Well, with eye-irritant Pokémon like Koffing and Weezing on the prowl, one can never be too prudent. Plus, I don't wanna get spit on them and stuff.


2Ah... Look what I've spotted. A Pikachu -- quite the find! Mouse-type Pokémon like Pikachu are generally only found in forest and tall-grass areas. Plus, being an Electric-type as well, Pikachu has a series of excellent abilities such as the Thudershock, Thunder Wave, and Thunder Attacks. Not to mention its highly-tuned natural instincts: Growl, Quick Attack, Swift, and Agility. Oh, and I did mention it turns into Raichu when a Thunder Stone is used?


3It is always wise to first approach a wild Pokémon in a benign, gently, friendly manner. Violent confrontation should always be considered a last resort. Observe how I gain this Pikachu's confidence and trust. "Here, Pika Pika Pika... I'm Adam, your new friend. I have kitties in this Pokéball, would you like to pet them?"


4"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"


5...and now we move on to the violent portion of our tutorial...


6"I choose you, ultra-rare 252nd cabbit-type Pokémon, RYO-OHKI! GO!!"


7"FEEL the power of cabbit!"


8Pokédex Entry #252:

"Ryo-Ohki, the Cabbit-Pokémon, gets its necessary energy from the small jewel on its forehead. Ryo-Ohki's attacks include: Claw Attack, Distortion Field, Drunken Saké Blast, Meow Song, and Assimilation. Unlike other Pokémon, Ryo-Ohki can transform at will into a variety of unconfirmed shapes. No further data is currently available."


9At the onset of the battle, Ryo-Ohki takes a beating as Pikachu unleashed a quick attack. But, when Ryo-Ohki's right ear gets scratched, it unleashes a claw attack and the two are reduced to a squirming ball of fury. The air fills with static as Pikachu's cheeks begin to spark. Ryo-Ohki quickly unleashes a distortion field which nullifies the effects of Pikachu's Thunder Attack. Drained of its energy reserves, the Pikachu growls as Ryo-Ohki lands a final clawed blow to the yellow rodent.


10"YEAH!! You did it, Ryo-Ohki! Here, have a carrot. Now, Pikachu... you're all mine!"


11WAITAMINUTE! It moved! I saw it! It's not beaten yet!


12And folks, there you have it. A simple and effective way to catch 'em all! I Hope you learned some useful strategies from this lesson. Well, I'm off to sterilize myself. I seem to have gotten a slight abrasion from the fight. Until next time...


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You are currently viewing an archived back issue of Animefringe Online Magazine. Click here to read our latest issue!