Animefringe at One - Omake
Unused Editorial for August 2000
By Steve Diabo (Kaneda)
Together, we can make all these hopeless petitions go away!
Hi there, folks. Welcome to the August edition of ANIMEfringe. I hope
you're having a good time as our guest this month. In this, my first
editorial, I'd like to talk about a few ignorant people and the hopeless,
useless, waste-of-time petitions they pour so much blood, sweat and tears
What exactly is a petition? Well, a petition is basically any sort of proof,
legally-binding or otherwise, that a lot of people want something that
someone else is not quite willing to let them have. That's pretty much all
there is to it. It's a pressure tactic thing. But, who's petitioning what,
Well, let's begin with the bunch of folks who are petitioning for a subbed
release of Princess Mononoke. Certainly a just and noble cause --
I'm not going to argue that Princess Mononoke wasn't one of the
greatest anime movies, if not THE greatest, I have ever seen. I do happen
to believe that the North American masses deserve a copy of Mononoke
in its original Japanese. But it just ain't a-gonna happen. Why's that?
Well, there are actually a couple reasons why there will never be a
bilingual release of the movie:
First off, the movie was dubbed by a company that does NOT handle anime
releases quite like, oh, say, ADV or Manga Video. We're talking about
Miramax Pictures here. These guys have different priorities than your
typical North American anime production house. They made their big, shiny
'English Adaption,' with such lofty names as Claire Danes, Minnie Driver,
Jada-Pinkett Smith, yadayadayada... And, because of a rather uninterested
North American population (don't worry, they'll see the light one day...
<g>), the movie didn't even earn back the money it took to produce for
the North American audience. So why would Miramax risk even more financial
loss releasing a second videotape, with the original Japanese audio, with
English subtitles? Good God... MONEY! CATCH IT!! IT'S FLYING AWAY!!!!
Besides, Miramax is a proud company that did a lot to Princess
Mononoke. Why would they release a copy of the movie that they barely
even touched? Certainly not to please a few Otaku who will probably just
make their own copies of the tape and pass it along to their friends...
And that about sums it up. But Otaku are smart, they know this, and they're
using Otaku Power to get Miramax to do it. But it just ain't a-gonna
happen! These freedom-fighting Otaku seem to ignore the hard facts.
Anyway, moving away from the hot potato that is Princess Mononoke,
let's talk about a few things that maybe I've just noticed.
One day, not too long ago, I was surfing some anime site somewhere, and some
real bright crayon was holding a FURIOUS petition... for an all-anime cable
channel. Well, fiddle dee dee. You know, sometime someone ought to count
how many Otaku there are in the US and Canada. I'd love to work with the
number to emphasize the fact that SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T THINK IT THROUGH.
Ahhh! Eeeee! Ohhhh! We can DO it! Imagine, an all-anime cable channel...
show your support and sign the petition! Sure, gimme the pen. I'll sign
it: "You're a bozo."
Come on, we're smarter than this. Do I even have to explain why, in this
day and age, this is a very ill-fated idea? I just FINISHED explaining why
Princess Mononoke didn't fly in the theaters in this country. Take
that fun fact, and apply it to this situation here. Ratings won't exactly
soar like rockets in flight. But where are they gonna get the anime to put
on the air, anyway? How many animes are actually on the air in the US
today? What, like 8? 10? Surely you don't expect a good all-anime cable
channel to rerun the same episode of Gundam Wing 14 times a day, because
that's what'll happen. And as for other anime that is only available on
videotape and DVD from an anime production house -- do you expect these guys
to just take a product they're selling for 20 or 25 bucks a piece and put it
on the air for anyone to watch or even tape for free? Yeah, that's what I
So, my new Otaku friend, next time you wanna take a stand, be counted, start
a revolution, whatever... sit down with a few of your Otaku friends and have
a good, THOUGHTFUL discussion. Examine every facet of the circumstances,
and from that, determine whether your cause is a worthy one or not. It may
save you a lot of time and heartache.
In the meantime, don't be afraid to sign a petition you think you believe
in. You have nothing to lose. And who knows, sometimes strange things
happen. As it stands right now, with anime being given more exposure and
becoming more and more mainstream, anime is an unstoppable freight train. In
a few years, not only will anime be given a lot more respect in North
America, but I share the belief that anime will become a huge part of
American media culture, right up there with the dumbass sit-com and the
infomercials with the short british guy in the red bowtie. So, the idea of
an all-anime cable channel, while only a pipe dream today, might be a
possiblity in the not-so-distant future. OTAKU POWER!
Steve Diabo (Kaneda)
Why this editorial wasn't used:
On July 1, 2000, Steve got an idea to finally bring an Editorial section
into Animefringe. He got a forwarded e-mail about a petition and just went
on to rant about anime petitions in general. We would have ran this nice
editorial if one thing hadn't of happened just days later... that's right
the Princess Mononoke petition DID work. This fact completely made Steve's
editorial loose credibility and thus we dropped it.
It wasn't until September when Mia joined the team that we asked her to do
an in-depth article on the whole petition scene. You may recognize a few
points from this editorial in Mia's article because Adam sent Mia a ton of
research and later made a few edits to her article to make it clearer.