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 Afringe Home / Features / Anime North - Adventures in Canada 10/25/2014 
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Animefringe Presents:
How to Otakize Your Room
By Adam "OMEGA" Arnold and Steve Diabo (Kaneda) and filmed with the miracle of ADAMVISION!!!!


1Greetings and salutations, my fellow Adamvisioners. It's been a while since we've crossed paths, but I've finally been let out of house arrest and I've brought a real treat! So, ladies and gentlemen, without further irritation, from what was once a disaster area caked with unwashed socks and used kleenex, may I now present: ADAM'S OTAKU ROOM... OF TOMORROW!


2The most pressing question on everyone's mind is, without doubt, "what does Adam like to do when he gets home after an honest day's work at an unfulfilling, dead-end joe job?" Well, as you can see, I like to unwind in front of the TV, watching a selection from my vast and ever-expanding library of anime titles. Whether it's a gripping, epic OVA about a clown with diarrhea, or a light-hearted, feel-good comedy TV series about a clown with diarrhea makes no difference to me. My tastes are wide and varied. This bean bag chair I'm sitting on is a bean bag chair of tomorrow. Just thought I'd let you know.


3This is my otaku computer workstation of tomorrow. Fun fact: exactly 72.4% of my rump's time is spent sitting on this very office chair. I must admit, the upholstery has developed a rather enchanting aroma. Again, my tastes are wide and varied, and when I'm not setting my people on fire in The Sims I'm reading a little something I like to call 'the coolest webzine in the known universe.' Here's another fun fact: Did you know that Led Zeppelin actually wrote a song about Animefringe? Yes, it was called 'Stairway to Heaven.' It was all about Animefringe.


4Looking to the ceiling, we see a bunch of plush toys which I have very cruelly hung by their soft, fuzzy little necks. Often times I have nightmares about giant plush toys hanging me on the ceiling and laughing their evil plush toy laughs. Go figure.

Well, by now you're saying to yourself, 'okay, his room is quite obviously a room of tomorrow, but what makes it an OTAKU room of tomorrow?' Well, the answer to that is simple...


5....My massive, massive hoarde of Sailor Moon paraphernelia.

Hey, where are you going? The tour's not over yet! Please do not walk so briskly, you might trip over something! You haven't even tried my homemade end-of-tour rhubarb pie! Delicious rhubarb pastries takes away the pains of the world and brings us all together as one glorious global village!


6Welcome back. Nice to see you again. Now, to make up for that shameful, shameful event, I would like to share with you a little secret weapon of mine. This is Adam's very own rad funky-fresh skateboarding Eva unit squad... of tomorrow. Not only do they protect my room from Angel attack, but they also like to hang around in the corner of my room getting stoned and not having any real direction in life!


7Teenage mutant ninja skateboarding Evas, teenage mutant ninja skateboarding Evas, teenage mutant ninja skateboarding Evas, wake me up before you go-go! Everybody now!


8You haven't seen Dance Dance Revolution until you've seen me get my groove on. Ready? Heeeeere we go! 1, 2, 1, 2, 1-2-3-4-1, 2. 1, 2, 1, 2, 1-2-3-1 DAMNIT!!! Uhh... heh... slight technical difficulty. Maybe I'll try another song. Yeah, I think I'll try another song. Here we go... 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4, combo, combo, 1, 2, combo, 2, SON OF A FRIG!!!


9All right, forget what I just said about Dance Dance Revolution. Just watch Seņor Adam, Samba King, work his magic. 1, 2, cha cha cha. 3, 4, cha cha cha. 1, 2, cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha... cha. Forget it. I place the blame squarely on the game's peripheral pieces of cheap-ass crap!


10In any case... just forget Dance Dance Revolution and Samba de Amigo. Nothing compares to the sheer video gaming pleasure of the original Super Mario Brothers game on NES. It's games like this that withstand the test of time. Back in the days of real gaming... when it was more important for a game to be playable than it was to have amazing graphics and sound! Yes indeedy, no cheaply-made dancing pads or money-gouging samba controllers here. This is hardcore gaming enjoyment. Ohhh yeah. I'm feeling this.

*bloop*

DAMN YOU, MISTER THIRD GOOMBA IN THE GAME! DAMN YOU!!!!!!


11Well, when all is said and done, sometimes you just have to step out of the video gaming universe and take in some REAL LIFE reality, such as this Cardcaptor Sakura manga. In case you're wondering, no, this manga isn't one of my collectibles, and so I don't feel the need to wear goggles, a shower cap and a mouth guard when i'm within 10 yards of it.


12Anyway, folks, it's getting awfully late. It's time for me and my little friend here to call it a night and hit the hay. So get outta my room and go home! Go on! What's that, you want rhubarb pie? Oh, that was just my clever little ruse to keep you interested. So get lost! The cops are on their way!


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Original Material © 1999 / 2001 Animefringe, All Rights Reserved. "All right Tokyo Townsville, are you ready!!!" 
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You are currently viewing an archived back issue of Animefringe Online Magazine. Click here to read our latest issue!