Nothing Says Lovin' Like Fanart and Paper Cranes
By guest columnist NikoNiko and PunPun from SMILE Magazine
I signed a special "guest" editorial visit by NikoNiko and PunPun of SMILE magazine fame!
NikoNiko! What the hell?! I mean, it's the first of the month! We aren't supposed to answer letters until next week!
Don't be such a Grumpy Gus, PunPun. You don't have to answer letters today! I signed us up for a special guest appearance at Animefringe. We're... what's that thing that Bruce Willis did?
Not that one... Moonlighting! Isn't that kawaii?
Yeah, it's a cool show. I watch it on Bravo-
Not, the show, you idiot! Isn't it cool that we're doing a special guest appearance?
Whatever. We gettin' paid, or what?
You wish! The only payment we're getting is the respect of our readers.
Any chance of us getting respect disappeared as soon as you showed up.
Be nice, PunPun, or I'll read some of your poetry to the Animefringe readers. "The Sailor Senshi are a wondrous sort..." Sugoi! You used Ambic Parameters!
It's called "iambic pentameter," you Visigoth. Butcher another line of my opus and I'll-
Adam: Um, you guys are supposed to be giving an editorial. Get to the point, why don't you?
Sorry, Adam! Hey, PunPun, isn't Adam "OMEGA" Arnold dreamy? I just love a man who can cook, catch Pokémon, play DDR, and likes to read.
**gag** That guy's a freak! Skateboarding EVAs? Has he no respect? And what's with the whole "OMEGA" thing, anyway?
How should I know? So what should we do our editorial on?
How about we do it on why we think Adam calls himself "OMEGA?" All we ever do is answer fan mail day in day out, so it's not like we get a whole lot of insights to share.
Well, why don't we tell the Animefringe readers about fan mail?! It'll be a therapeutic. I know you've got a lot of frustration you've been wanting to ve-
What's with you girls and your folding?! If your envelope is 8.5" x 4", then why do you fold your letters into little 2 inch squares? Baka baka baka! Perhaps you shoujo fans don't realize that being super-deformed, I only have three fingers, so undoing all of those folds takes a lot of work!
Well, I think folding is cool. Especially when they do that trick where it asks you to pull a tab to "unlock" the paper puzzle. That takes major talent!
If they're so talented, they oughta send me more paper cranes! I only ever got two paper cranes in fan mail, and both of those were destroyed when your evil robot duplicate went haywire.
Major angst! Have you had your breakfast today?
Oh, enough with the DDR-isms, already! If you quote one more random line from that stupid game, I'll take your $200 hard pad and shove it up your ass!
PunPun! You can't say ASS! That's against the rules! This isn't South Park, you know. The whole foul-mouthed super-D kids thing has already been done to death.
Back to letter answering, what do you think of fans signing of with ja ne, or just ja?
I don't give a rat's ass. ASS ASS ASS!.
PunPun, cut it out!
>*< I take particular offense to that comment, master PunPun.
Why, look! It's Captain Hibiscus, the talking mouse emissary of the Moon Faeries and MY sidekick in fighting evil!
>*< Well, actually, I'm more of an advisor than a sidekick.
(More of a pain in the ASS is more like it.)
>*< I heard that!
If you're so concerned with fighting evil, NikoNiko, then maybe you should leave the letter answering to a professional- ME.
Hey, but answering letters was MY idea! You hated it, remember?!
Things change when you realize you have millions of adoring fans.
Three fans and a stalker is more like it. Can you believe she sent you that photograph of her without her clothes on?
I get those all the time, thank you very much. You're just jealous that no one writes "cheer up NikoNiko" at the end of their letters.
That's because I've got all the cheer I need! Cheer with bells on! People only write to you because they pity you, you pathetic, sniveling little worm!
What the?! I'm supposed to be the mean, cynical one! You can't talk like that to me! It's out of character!
But it's not fair! People are drawn to your edginess, your "in-your-face" attitude. I don't want to always be the nice one!
But if you were mean, then we'd both be and that would be confusing to the readers.
I guess that's true.
>*< And the true Guardian of the Moon Faeries would never be mean. If you're going to act like PunPun, I'd have to retract your powers.
What do you need powers for anyway? All you do is answer fan mail and play DDR!
Now who's jealous?
I mean, look at us! We've got a cast of six characters and counting to answer fan mail for crying out loud!
Six? Well, only five since Captain Black just turned out to be you in disguise.
Shut up! What if they haven't read the August issue of SMILE yet?
>*< If I may be so bold, fellow mail baggers, perhaps we should discuss fan art... before we get thrown out of this webzine.
Fan art, yay! Fan art's great! We like it so much that we let a fan artist become our official artist for the next issue of SMILE!
How come so many people draw pictures of Sailor Moon, and only four people have drawn pictures of me?
Actually, considering that we only exist on the letters column of a niche magazine, I'd say that's pretty good response, but then, I always look on the bright side... because I HAVE to. It's not fair!
Look, you already have an evil robot twin, so you can't be evil! Twins are never both evil!
>*< Forgive me sir, but you're forgetting Tomax and Xamot, the Crimson twins of GI Joe.
How could I forget GI-Joe?! **ASHAMED**
PunPun, have you noticed that we haven't been using **sound effect** brackets as much lately?
**SHOCK** You're right! **GASP** We should remember to do that again. **sweat**
Now, don't overdo it.
I don't like people who trace their fan art. Tracers are bad.
Tracing is a valuable skill that can lead to lucrative careers in the world of comic book inking.
**grumble** Stupid tracers.
>*< You do have a point, sir PunPun, and that's that it's refreshing to see original artwork from fans. It's more impressive to see a reader's interpretation of Sailor Moon, than to see his or her imitation of Naoko Takeuchi's Sailor Moon.
Now really, Captain Hibiscus, don't you think that's a little arrogant to be so judgmental of people's fan art?
>*< Arrogant? I uh... what I mean to say is... What I really...
Just kidding! Tracers blow!
PunPun, why are you so mean to readers when you answer their letters?
I'm not mean. I just call things how I see them.
You're mean. :) I think we should be going now. It's getting kind of late, and we're starting to ramble.
Were we ever NOT rambling?
So to sum it up- Girls like to fold paper, but if they want to fold things more than four times, they should fold paper cranes. Slipping in Japanese slang is kawaii. Fan art is good, but tracers are less good. Pictures of us are best. And PunPun's sometimes kinda rude, but he doesn't mean it.
Yes I do! I always mean it!
No you don't. And when it comes to answering bags of fan art ( L Bags? Puh-lease) you can use all the help you can get.
>*< Excellent advice, Small Lady.
Except for Sushi Girl. She sucks.
No you suck!
No, you suck more!
Not half as much as you!
You suck and so does your mother.
Hey, she's your mother too!