by Janet Crocker

Let me say this first: despite the title, there are no soccer hooligans in this hentai. I'm pretty sure that the title was randomly generated from dropping a dictionary and pointing at a word. "'Hooligan'! That's perfect for a parody hentai!"

Oh my, is this a parody. This is the better-animated, younger step-brother of the infamous fan hentai Sailor Moon and the Seven Ballz, with a plot that merely serves to set up sex scenes.

Yukito, a very horny male teenager, interferes in Olga's experiment with his extreme fondling of the busty school nurse, causing a space-time incident. Now he must collect the seven Holy Dildos to restore the world as it was before. Accompanying Yukito is a perverted rabbit creature named Mr. Isao, who works as comedy relief and leads Yukito into his sex toy battles. Oh yes, because there can only be one wielder of the seven mighty instruments of pleasure. Just like in the La Blue Girl cannon, the one who climaxes first loses.

Yukito's adversaries range from Marigretle, the too cute child-robot (for the record, he does not win her "sword" with sex), to Hiromi, Yukito's love interest and the requisite innocent class representative. Oddly enough, Hiromi's Holy Dildo turns into an open-mouthed fish, creating a scene right out of a U-Jin anime, as clams and seals replace certain body parts. Following that is a wiggling sock/shadow puppet genitalia conversation: "Hiromi, what's wrong?" "I...I'm scared..."

The final showdown is between Yukito and Olga, who apparently is the Emperor of Space and Time and the wielder of the seventh sex toy, which squirts like a Spiderman web shooter, except it's... well... use your own imagination. Olga is on the verge of winning, when all of the previously defeated girls start to sing... just like in Macross. Yes, the song revives the hero, turning him Super Saiyan, engulfed in flames.

There are some great comic moments in Hooligan. The recap at the beginning of the second episode is done in expressive crayon strokes. Yukito sprouts off action hero lines periodically, fully embracing his heroic mission to save the world, one orgasm at a time. Marigretle contemplates how to get her rocket punch arm back with options straight out of a twisted dating sim: 1. Cry and ask him to return it. 2. Disguise yourself as a kitten so he lets his guard down. 3. Scream "Front Wing" into the second controller mic. (Guess which one she picks. Hint: It's not the first option.)

I didn't like the Velcro pubic hair; it's just too disturbing. If I had to classify Hooligan's animation style, it would be Excel Saga, with waving arms and bodies and text tossed all over the background. I also did not like the times where bodies were supposed to be invisible, but remained visible for audience viewing pleasure or when Yukito's manhood vanishes, so you get the female character... well... loving an outline of a body part.

Extras included the original trailer, trailers for other Critical Mass titles, a slideshow, and dub outtakes, which were as funny as the actual scenes themselves. In fact, both the dub and sub versions have merits of their own, chiefly not missing funny lines in the subtitles versus how hentai naturally works better when dubbed, so watch Hooligan twice to get the full effect. Hooligan is a great, fun anime for people with a twisted sense of humor, especially in their hentai. Don't put this DVD in, however, expecting to see hot, hot animated action. Hooligan is too aware of its own fantastic nature.

Olga: How do you have so much strength left?
Yukito: Sad but true - this is animation!

About This Item

  • Hooligan

  • Format:
    Bilingual DVD / 52 min. / 2 eps.
  • Production:
    Critical Mass / Front Wing / Digital Works
  • Rating:

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